he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
