Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I need moral support for this bender
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
