i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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