Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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