of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
