Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
