I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
