I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
