the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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