Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
