Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How's work?
Spinning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
