Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
