Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
