Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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