I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
