so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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