he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
