Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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