The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
