3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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