I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
