Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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