theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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