I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
