i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
