I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
