do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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