I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
