You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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