Dude my mom stole all your condoms
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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