Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
