the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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