Yo dont text me then not text me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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