i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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