I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Everything about him screamed your future.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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