Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
