come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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