Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
