She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
