I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
