I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
