I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
