She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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