Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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