Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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