i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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