Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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