after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
