doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
