I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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